Is it okay to admit when we’re a little confused and befuddled? It seems like we have hit a brick wall in every direction we’ve tried to go this week. How would we know if God was trying to close this door? Our landlord even talked to us this Friday and said he wished we would buy this house. We can’t possibly afford it, but we were given a number to call for those with low income, part of a rural development program by the government, with $0 down and no closing costs.
On the other hand, our dream is to be debt free. We don’t think having a mortgage is wrong. It’s just not what we feel God wants us to do. Besides, the owner of this house is asking more than we think the house is worth. Should we go into debt for 30-40 years, paying too much for a home that is just “nice”?
How do we know what God’s will is? Many times in our lives, we have wished He would speak audibly. Maybe He would send a plane over our house, with a sign on the back that says what we are supposed to do. But regardless, we want to follow Him and to learn to listen to the leading of His Spirit. Most of all, we want to please Him.
Our friend Christine Miller wrote to us,
We are all in school — and learning to hear His voice, and know His will, is one of the school lessons we are to be learning. So the first thing I would say is, TAKE HEART! Your Teacher, who is teaching you this lesson, is a GOOD and PATIENT teacher, and is taking you step by step through the lesson, with tests along the way to evaluate your progress.
So I would speak to the stress and pressure and say, LIFT OFF in Jesus’ name! The good and patient teacher is NOT stressed and is not the one doing the pressuring! Return to a place of rest and peace, for He is the God of peace and order, and not of confusion.
I would say that because you have hit obstacles does not automatically mean you missed God’s will and He has closed the doors. The enemy will also put obstacles in the path to try to get you to turn to the right hand or to the left. God told Abraham His will for him (land and descendants) and then Abraham went through 25 years of testing where it seemed God’s promises kept getting taken away. It was not God closing doors, however, but the obstacles and Abraham relying on the Lord’s faithfulness to overcome those obstacles.
He knows that He is not speaking to you audibly. He is not frustrated with you, but He is leading you to discern Him when He is not speaking audibly. His delight is in you. I think one of the things He might be trying to teach you, is to learn to be as patient with yourself as He is. I am a recovering perfectionist. This is something He taught me that I had to learn too. And some days I still have to go back and review my lessons. And now I am trying to help others learn it, too.
We saw this great TEDx Talk on YouTube this weekend. It seems that many people who buy a bus share our same feelings of excitement and fear, passion and panic. It’s part of life. But fear of the unknown does not mean God isn’t leading. It just means that we’re learning to trust Him.